I've grown to really like the 3 kisses thing here. :)

I like it as well, I was disappointed the other night when some people did what I am used to, just waved and said 'hi everyone!' and didn't make it all the way around the table!

whoops there I go not signing in again. that was me, not anonymous...

Though my situation is far less extreme, I understand and appreciate what you are saying. You are several degrees away from familiar, and it's work to change what is normal to you. In Denmark things were far from American, and here I had to unlearn the 3 kiss thing for the 1 kiss thing! I think this whole experience has been made much easier for me in that I *have* to return to the US every couple of months for research meetings. I understand that yearning for *normal*, your normal. And it is amazing how we learn to satiate those needs (for example, a quiet afternoon reading with your cat in your nap). Treasured little things can take you back, this is so important. Let me know if there is anything (however silly) I can ship your way for a little blast from home. Hugs:)

Wow, thank you! I will let you know :) I would love to come visit, I'll let you know if that's in the cards.

But how do you give your hand in Kinshasa?

I know it from congolese men they give ther hands much longer than germans do. And if they take fluidly off they snap with their fingers. It looks really nice. I saw it here at congo parties/concerts or maybe in Matonge in Bruxelles.

Sometimes man walking hand in hand without beeing homosexual... when I meat back a guy after a while he takes my hand for the time of the short smalltalk.

Hi, I saw your post on expats community or something and decided to check out your journal, which I enjoyed reading. I hope you don't mind that I added you to my friends list. I am currently back in the US, but I have been in Kampala for the past 10 months and I am headed back there week after next for probably around a year. Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and say hello, from one Us citizen in Africa to the next....

Hi, nice to hear from you -- what are you doing in Uganda? bananapouch will be traveling there for work in September...

How's the expat scene there? I imagine it's mostly European, with lots of Lebanese and Chinese thrown in. That can be difficult to deal with too. In Lagos, we went through the same things. DSTV... ha. The folks in my office kept the TV on Channel Z all day long. Ugh.

It is mostly European, though I have seen more Asians here recently. Lebanese -- definitely, in the business sector especially Most of the non-Europeans are connected with MONUC, which carries with it its own subculture, so they get grouped together anyway (Uruguayans, South Africans, eastern Europeans, Indians, Chinese, etc). In our group, we have Irish, Welsh, French, Canadian, American, Congolese, Polish, French Canadian, British...

congrats on an almost year in Congo. As for me, today is my one year wedding anniversary! woo hoo. Bebe and I will probably go out to dinner and then watch TV. Exciting. I also am perfectly content spending most weekend in my apartment, drinking coffee and watching TV - except I don't have a cat - wish I did!

Congratulations! I met you when you were freshly a newlywed ;) Dinner and Tv doesn't sound half bad to me, even for an anniversary.

A friend of mine (AccidentProne, before the accident) sadly was recently invited out to dinner by his boss on his boss's anniversary -- his wife didn't go, but met them for dessert or something. Weird.

As for your entries about "normal" couples, no matter how "normal" you are, people would still criticize, so you should just do what you do and how you want to do it.

Yeah, you are right. Thanks. I look forward to a month alone though and finally understand that short story by the feminist author; a room to herself or something like that where the housewife rents a hotel room once a week. I can't imagine having a bunch of needy kids around

I bought that book recently, it is Virginia Woolf, but I haven't read it yet. I think if I were to get married, it would have to be like that, because I am so used to my own space at this point.

I want a cat too!

Well, tiltawhirl has 5 kittens to get rid of, and we've only placed 3 -- one with me!

wasn't signed in, but I'm not anonymous ;)

after 5 months in Kigali i have to echo a lot of what you've said - the greetings in particular have me completely baffled, among friends and colleagues alike. i've got the hang of the 3 kisses and default to it with women (not used b/w men here) except americans, some of whom seem to be really uncomfy with it. with men, shake hands and i tend to relax but not release and allow the other guy (when he's a rwandan) to determine the release point. yikes. then the other day i went to a meeting and got the half-hug, lean forward and almost touch heads but no body contact embrace-y thing from the guy i work with there... that then segued smoothly into the slap/snap handshake at the end.

it's fun, but baffling as hell...

you get decent cheese in Kinshasa???? it's a rarity here in Kigali. insanely expensive if it shows up but it's always worth it... most recently i think it was $10 USD (ish) for a little block of irish cheddar... worth every penny.

btw, i hate posting anon but as i'm not an lj user and openid is unclear to me, well, here i am. my blog is at http://www.georgeconard.com - so, there, i'm no longer anon. sort of.

Yes, I forgot about the head-butt thing! Men don't kiss here, either, but they do the right-hand-shake, left-hand-on-shoulder, touch-sides-of-forehead three times bit. They kiss the ladies, though!

We do get decent cheese, but yes we pay for it as well. It is interesting that in even small groceries, if they are European-owned and operated, or even Lebanese, there is a cheese and coldcuts case. I've tried cheeses I never would have encountered in the US. Then there's Goma cheese -- you get that where you are, I'm sure, because of all the long-horned cows, but there are NO cows in or around Kin. We have to go out east to find those big wheels of cheese.

Hey there...I came here via public_health. I'm immensely fascinated by your work in the Congo. Did you mention you're from New Orleans? I'm hoping to get into Tulane next year for public health! Mind if I add you?

Not at all, add away! I am sure you will get into Tulane. If you have any questions, bananapouch and I both graduated from that program. Just to let you know, I am open to other questions about work, but not which organization ;)

I will stop by your page as well!